Thursday, July 31, 2003


West coast summers tend to produce confusion due to our fierce resistance to heat, which challenges our ability to think. Those migrants to the ocean side forgo all caution to sun induced melanoma, allowing bronzing of bodies to seduce the bathers into unconscious pheromone production, thus greatly reducing their use of common sense.

Those of us that must work during the day endure un-air conditioned workplaces, unless the workplace is fortified by foreign thinking owners and landlords that install the cooling systems appropriate to their original heat producing climates. I know some people that enter and remain in malls just for the pleasure of walking in the artificially cooled facility. Shopping is optional.

Whether it is the leisurely beach site or to the work-a-world, driving to and from a destination is a test of any nemesis' retribution. We speed and weave to reach a light, hovering at intersections with elevated pulses, brows dripping while we bake from direct exposure. No matter how fast we navigate to the next red, it takes the same time as our speedy counterparts. We catch up with them in a block or so, or advance while the rear becomes annoyingly close to our bumpers. While we survey the start of the light race, windows circulate fume infused air, saturated with the perspiration from the adjacent car's occupants. We whisk on the the next light, deftly avoiding the stunned and delirious drivers that can alter our lifestyle between point A & B with an altercation produced by smidgen of road rage. Honking away the stupidity will not reduce the heat induced anger. No matter how cleverly polite or gracious our driving, no matter how disturbed our road mates, or how feverish the air we all breath, we always share the same dilemma. It takes as long as it takes to get where we are going. Summer or not, the distances will not alter. We cannot control the weather. We can cool down our freakish need to speed between those pesky lights. Let the rendezvous take place!

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Woa! BE GONE ye of little IMAGINATION!!!


"The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things.
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And tho the sea be boiling hot and ..."

I wish I could remember the entire Lewis Carol poem, but the spirit this line evokes is so power producing. Speaking up, letting go of fortunes' follies. Challenge the known and make the unlikely possible. Rivers of surging ideas. Must learn to wait. All previous presumptions to be abandoned. 'let's go 'xploring', as my daughters' said as children when looking for adventure.

I do miss the girls, now firmly embedded in life's mysterious curiosities, their own paths established. I miss the wonder of their first discoveries and the joy of their embrace of newness I was privy to during their youth. Now they have meandered from me, throwing back occasional shouts of 'eureka!' so I can vicariously warm myself with their lovely fulfillment. One remains silent and I continue to wait.

I think about the girls' youth and my mind immediately becomes riddled with ditties of play songs. 'Skidamringkydink', 'Baby Beluga in the deep blue Sea', 'Buckle Shoes, Bow Shoes, Pretty Pointed Toes, Like Some, So would I!', Zoon zoon, cuddle and croon, over the wrinkling sea', ... oh so many. And I dream, lusting for the past closeness, but understanding that without that past knittedness, their bold journeys would not have been possible. Hooray!

Monday, July 14, 2003

Birth of a Girl

She was a blue light, nay a haze
Hovering above a Toronto cross-section
Before she was conceived.

There were tendrils of her need to be in this world
Saturating the space between
Wisps of knowingness
Urging the collaborators to parent her body.

At birth she was observant of her lust for survival,
A spirited gusto for life.
Guzzle and sleep, she saw all, listened well and
Stored the memories for future burgeoning.

Frighteningly early she spoke her name.
She could enjoy the mirth of the ages,
Laughing well, she exploded with the joy of the small,
Largely a wondrous gift to behold.

Walking was a necessity, not an interesting activity.
Her pleasure was the poetry of the Rhyme Time,
Colours and the taste.
Music concentrated her concentric mind.

Within a year of life, she insisted
On sitting on laps...
To see sewing,
To hear reading,
To feel sounds of talking.

And now, in the second decade of her life,
The opera continues,
Moving herself to the foray of sensational places
Where sights, sounds and sensations are plentiful
Where new memories are possible
And pink is passion transitionalized,
Azure sublimates carefulness,
Emerald secures the growth and
Nary is there a day
When the buds do not bloom
Into a canopy of wonder.

Saturday, July 12, 2003


A downpour is the exhilarating means to renew the passive, sun drenched earth. I love the euphoria of the concentrated force the rain spills from the sky. Trees' dust form rivulets below. The clouds disperse and a ionized air modifies our spirit.


Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Leave it till Monday

and dearness
is a dive
into the brink

the minstrel
sings low
traffic drowning

enchanted foraging
rescues the craft.

Not until
will a new day

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Sunday Fissure

Weak week. Weal, waddle, wane. Sun slips into a crafted abyss and tickles memories wished to be dissipated. Dreams of past moments to be rekindled into nightmares. Sifting quietly into nuances of structure. Form still unknown.

WHAT DO I WANT? A question harder than granite. Soapstone ideals rest reluctantly on posed problem solving soliloquies.

Waves of known possibilities safely guarded by the passing moments, but time is a trickster. Acting, involving oneself in new ventures is the only way to live.

Living is limestone, buttery soft to the point; it acknowledges gently, revealing great and universal truths. What act will spin into adventure, resolving, solving and solidifying the stagnation into amoebic life, eventually evolving into satisfaction of living?

Spin a bottle, flip a coin, pick a card - there is no easy way to know what is best, especially when the beginning is vague. Get a job, take a course, find a new horizon. Platitudes of grace.

Begin with a colour. Orange is action and speed. Green is contemplation. Gold, organization. Blue feels and holds empathy, often strangling strategy. I need to resurrect my Orange tendencies as Blue is a hindrance to change.

I like action, but speed is not my forte. I like to think and incise, but dislike the organization that inevitably is associated with the outcome of research. I don't want to wallow in the piteous self-riotousness which restrains action.

This is nowhere and somewhere. Where is the event that will develop a path? ... A stone's through away... and where is the stone?

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

La DE Da

Once, upon a time...

Remembrances of new moon... They say in Turkmenistan that if you show money to the new moon it will mean that you will have money in the month to come ( at least). My friend took out her last $13 American dollars and flashed it at the crescent moon last night in twilight, the last of the money she had earned to come to Canada, in anticipation of this prophecy.

The Chef was cooking sauces last night. A cream tarragon and red wine sauce for the miniature bar-b-ques. Caramel with Grande Marnier and the secret Chocolate sauces ( orgasmic) for the strawberry and cookie dipping. A feast with panache. Starters were a double cream Brie baked with roasted walnuts and a vine ripened tomato salad with fresh basil, olive oil, lemon, balsamic vinaigrette, topped with shaved red onion. Fresh baguette, cold butter and straight up Stoly. Kosher pickles to nibble with the Vodka. (Russian tradition)

The smoke alarm only resounded once. The plastic bag was adjusted to prevent the fire brigade's entrance, and tongs were readied to braise the smorgasbord of morsels of meat. Beef heart, veal, pork tenderloin, chicken marinated in tarragon. Freshly ground pepper sanctified every course. Sauces were readied for immersion. Red wine and conversation about the comparisons of Turkmen/Russian/French and Canadian culture fortified the evening. The dessert was consumed intermittently throughout the meal.

Yum. A new Canada Day tradition was forged.